Friday, 26 February 2010

And Now For A Movie That Completely Failed To Pump My Nads!

Alright, so I know I'm supposed to be preparing 'jaw dropping' works of art for the upcoming Tiki Today Show at the Vision 20-21 Gallery but... I've actually been taking full advantage of the slew of animation making it's way onto Blu-Ray this month.

First up was... 'Up'. Great film. I really liked it, even when the tone got a bit choppy and it was definately my favourite Pixar release since The Incredibles.

Yeah, that's right... Fuck you Nemo!

Then came '9'... Not bad, not bad at all... Took my back to my youth watching uneven but pretty films like The Dark Crystal and The Secret Of Nimh. Hell, I'd go so far as to say that it had a faint whiff of the Tron's about it. Beautiful but horribly flawed.

Like me...

Then came this...



I know right? Rob Zombie does Ralph Bashki via Robert Crumb with a dash of Universal Horror and some fine ass Luchadore action thrown in. Oh, and zombies... Nazi Zombies! What could go wrong..?

Suffice to say, it was the longest 74 minutes of my life and made me want to watch something, anything else. Maybe even Finding Nemo... (I can't explain to you how much I hate that film... Or why...). Sure, animated boobs are swell and everyone loves a good pop culture gag but to base every facet of the film on those two things? And then use the glue of swearing to hold it all together?

Somehow, this film felt like a criminal waste of talent and time (THREE YEARS in the making! Even I don't take that long!) and hopefully everyone involved will have learned a valuable lesson from this debacle and just give me the TEN MILLION budget next time to produce my much anticipated Why Sock Monkey, Why? movie.

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